mummy was awfully happy last night. she was laughing and making jokes, she had that glow that i rarely see these days. if i didn't know better, i would have thought she was high on alcohol or drugs. i think she would have been happier if my brother was there. but still, i guess it was a good dinner, the whole extended family(or at least what's left of it in myanmar) gathering to celebrate my grandma's birthday. i didn't really do much, i disturbed my cousins' sons(doubt they like me much), ate cake and went around taking photos. the whole time all i could think about was smoking. i felt like szetoh.
i went for drinks with three of my cousins after dinner. we said we won't drink much but that's what you always say before you do. it was good fun, we talked about our childhood and where we were all headed. i miss staying close to all my cousins and all the mischiefs we got up to. i think i had a pretty good childhood.
today, i need to pack cause i am going back tomorrowwwwwww!!!! :) though, going back also means results are coming out soon and who's looking forward to that. all i am looking forward to is drinking, drinking, more drinking and seeing my friends!
i always choose flight, i am a coward. but this time i am choosing to fight.
i love the beach. the seemingly endless blue sea, the soft sand that gets between your toes, the sea breeze that mess up your hair perfectly. the trip to the beach was a good escape. we ate, we drank, we swam, we laughed. the nights were cold and i had no jacket or long pants but that didn't stop us from spending both nights drinking at the bar by the pool. second night was really quite special, i sang along to burmese songs i've never heard before or even understand. it must be the alcohol.
i can't believe 2009 is coming to an end. i think 09' has it's ups and downs, i won't say it's such a great year. actually, it's pretty lousy but the year hasn't end yet and i am hoping it will get better. i think i need a bloody Christmas miracle!
the shadows crawled across my ceiling and i watched them with a heavy heart. it feels like I am stuck in heavy traffic. the frustration.
the red pills doesn't help to keep the thoughts away and neither will the white dust. the smoke fogged up the car, am I there yet? the highly anticipated numbness never came. you were still there. you are still there.
all I want for christmas is a bulletproof heart.
15 more nights till I am home. I like the dry air here and the evening breeze. but I like the cheap cigarettes more than anything.
Maybe all along I was just waiting, maybe I always knew it will happen. Maybe it is inevitable. We will fade away and all that is left would be the golden dust of what used to be you and I. Yes, golden, because our days were nothing short of gold worthy. We won't cry beacuse we have too much pride(or so we want to appear) but the sky will cry for us. And whenever it rains, I will think of Our Days. I will be sad but I will be happy knowing they happened. Good night.
